Timelessness

The Lion King returned to theaters last week in the form of a live action remake. Even with a star studded cast, I was ambivalent. I walked into the hall uncertain if it would top the original or not. After leaving my seat 120 minutes later, all doubts were effectively eradicated.
As we left the silver screen, I know, no one calls it that anymore, but I quite like the old-fashioned term, I started discussing the movie with the people I was watching it with. To my surprise, they hadn’t watched the original. I was shocked like a raccoon in an electric chair. It’s not like they’re very much younger than me, we’re only a few years apart. So at the time of writing, I was already rethinking our relationships & reconsidering my friendship standards.

I have no idea how many times I watched the original Lion King while in kindergarten. It almost seems like i would insert the tape into my vhs player every single day right after coming back from school. What’s odd is that sometimes we’d even watch it in school during movie period. So that’s twice in a day! What’s even odder is it wasn’t even my favorite Disney movie growing up!

The Little Mermaid was the last Disney film to be hand-drawn/painted from start to finish. They’ve been making them with computers ever since. Not to say that’s a bad thing. I’m a sucker for a good cartoon. I miss those good old days where I could just binge watch animated features on VHS without having to worry about anything else other than when my next meal would be.
If you haven’t caught on, yes, the little mermaid was my favorite Disney movie back then. I had the most mysterious crush on Ariel not knowing that mermaids were a mythical creature. & I kept asking my parents to buy me one without ever thinking about what I would do with it if I had one. I ultimately settled for sea-monkeys. & Ariel became nothing more than a repressed memory, just like any other girl I’ve ever ever wanted. On a lighter note, Meet the Robinsons will always be the best Disney movie in my books.

Matthew Broderick will always be my Simba!

The visuals were excellent, except that this was a musical which means it’s supposed to be filled with expressions & emotions. I couldn’t find much of that in the remake.
Simba often times looked like he had the eyes of a sea bass that’s been in the freezer for 6 days.
& don’t even get me started on Beyoncé’s performance. The fact that they had to photoshop her into the cast photo next to John Oliver just shows how committed the people who worked on the movie were to the cause. She’s a great singer no doubt, but as a voice actor she was simply appalling. Believe me I have seen people who are more emotionally invested in a grilled cheese sandwich than her in voicing Nala.
What’s more, my phone is somehow putting the accent on the ‘e’ in Beyoncé on its own. It’s bewildering! I type Pokémon a lot therefore I understand why it’s automatically changed, but I am not a fan of hers, I think I’ve only typed her name on my iPhone once!

I wish I had decided to instead stay at home & watch a documentary on animal planet. It would have saved me ten bucks. Hell I would get more entertainment by sitting near a canal with a random hobo just watching a dog bark at a dead cat next to some cardboard for two hours straight.

The redeeming facet, though, would be John Oliver as the panicky Zazu. His bits were mostly comedic & he delivered with aplomb. I understand I might be biased since I watch his show every week, & he loves Liverpool FC as much as I do but I simply had to find one thing that makes the negative aspects more acceptable.

I like Jon Favreau, I’m going to watch the Mandalorian when it comes out, & I enjoy his portrayal as Happy in the marvel movies, but ultimately this is a big botch on his resume.

Since we’re on this topic of nostalgia, Garfield was probably one of my favorites. I really loved the comics for the dry humor & slapstick comedy. As a kid, I related to Garfield. I wanted to sleep in & eat everything my parents had in the house. Nowadays, I feel more like Jon, an awkward do-nothing adult with too much time on his hands. Oh, & check out this fascinating version of Garfield minus Garfield. See how revealing, & at times depressing, of a cartoon it is when Garfield & his comments are erased.
https://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

What is this salty clear liquid excrement leaking from my eyes?

Is nostalgia is an impediment to growth? I don’t actually know. What I am sure of is nostalgia is the best way to connect with people. How on earth do you think Disney makes billions every year? They’re manipulating you by using your childhood memories when they remake all these retro movies. It’s all for the money. We’re getting taken advantage of, & we’re doing anything about it. Because we can’t. That is the full extend of nostalgia’s powers.

If you really have to know, my favorite movie of all time is a cheesy Cantonese romance movie called First Love Unlimited. I really can’t explain why, it just is.

Let me just end this entry by informing you that the title ‘king of the jungle’ that lions were enthroned with is politically incorrect. They live in the serengeti, not jungles.