Oblivion song

Imagine if instead of hair, money grew on my back.

Other possible opening sentences for today’s entry:

Late to bed & late to wake will keep you long on money & short on mistakes.
So often are we guided by our immediate needs. Don't be a slave to money.

WIFE: “Why do you always waste money on useless things?”
ME: [scraping the S & H off the side of the secondhand School Bus I bought on Carousell] “Maybe useless to you, Karen, you uncool rapscallion.”

Why do people save?

It’s elementary.
Anything that is rare or requires a lot of work to get but can be gone quickly falls under this category called Too Awesome To Use. It’s a gaming terminology.

In RPG games, if an item is useful, wonderful, awesome, & practical, you’re probably never going to use it, & it’s going to end up sitting safe & sound in your inventory until the very end. The reason is because you’re afraid to waste such a valuable treasure, & will be waiting for that one, best opportunity to use it. But more often than not that opportunity never comes. Or even worse, the opportunity had already passed you by.
Humans are by nature compelled to keep saving money even if they end up dying without using any of it. To them, it’s better to have it & not need it than not have it when it’s needed. What a waste. You slog your ass off every single day of your miserable life only to die with what you thought was the most valuable thing in life not even used, & you can’t even bring it with you to hell. & you know what’s even better? Your progeny end up inheriting all of your wealth undeservedly, & they’ll probably splurge it on hookers & drugs. Naisu.
Look, I’m not saying money isn’t important, I’m saying it’s not something to be enchanted with. Strive for enough instead of an abundance.

“You didn’t congratulate the newlyweds?” someone asked.
“No, I didn’t. Maybe in 10 years,” I replied as I pointed towards a stray pigeon for absolutely no reason whatsoever. They nodded their head, but their smile seemed sad.
I blinked, then looked searchingly around the area.
“Why?” they asked, sadly.
I sighed, peering sorrowfully into the cup of water that I was holding, which had been empty for 40 minutes.
I answered while peeping out of the hotel room window. “Deciding to get married is an easy feat. It’s not an accomplishment at all. But if they’re still married after 10 years, I’ll congratulate them then. Because that’s commendable.”
I proceeded to stuff 3 maoams in my mouths & walk away in a casual manner while wearing an intense expression.

I’m done with the tangent, let’s circle back to where we were. I know I wasted a little bit of your time but you’re already wasting it by being here, what’s a few minutes more? Plus, being the Tangential King, this is to be expected. I’m known to have a 90% rate of straying from a direct course.

Money isn’t a topic I enjoy writing about, because I sincerely believe it is indeed the root of all evil, but I did come across something interesting recently that I think might be worth sharing.
Everybody’s concept of wealth is twice what they have. So if you have 3 million dollars in the bank, your idea of really being set is having 6 million dollars. But once you have 6 million dollars, you’ll think about going for 12 million dollars next. So it’s pretty much an insatiable desire really, a reprehensible acquisitiveness. It never ends. Suffice to say we can never be satisfied, which isn’t exactly a groundbreaking revelation.

That said, based on my calculations, I should be able to retire at the young age of 106 for approximately four hours.

I wouldn’t say that I’m an extremely blunt person, but I like to exploit the absurdity of situations. I also like to preserve a great deal of mystery about myself.