Wooo

Typing in the date just now at the header of this entry reminded me that I didn’t know what day it was. I've totally lost track of the progression of time. Just a few hours ago, I told a friend of mine I thought we met up two days ago when it was only yesterday that we did. I guess when you sleep less & less each night, your days somehow seem longer. That's not something favorable at all. As for the season of drawing hearts, I’m back to my old tricks again. Trying desperately to be romantic with my true love, writing. That's just sad, I know. I have never experienced valentine's day with someone. In fact, I've never even been on a date. I was promised one last year but somehow, after meeting me for the second time, she decided, like the rest of the female population, I wasn't date material. Oh well, oh well, guess i'll see you in hell. Perhaps next year I’ll indulge in the history of roses & fine dining & the make-ups & break-ups that surroun...

Music is in my blood. My blood type is G minor. Music has always been a part of me. Me & music, we kind of have an incestuous relationship. Where the hell am I going with this? First, it's in my blood. & then I have a relationship with my blood? I don't know. But what I'm very certain of is i prefer listening to music instead of listening to people. Last night, after I got home, I couldn't sleep. So I stayed up till dawn writing a song about her. It's unfinished. I used to write songs about relationships. Ironic since I was never in one. Then I learned, to be able to write meaningful love songs about relationships, you need to be or have been in a relationship. You are required to feel the experience for yourself. The start of it until it has ended. From there, you know how the story ends & you can write the song then. With that, I stopped writing those kind of songs. The last I crafted was the one about my imaginary girlfriend who, strangely & mysti...

2015 huh? Well well well, look at that. Somebody's made it this far. Not surprising really. As much as I hate to die an insignificant death, I always imagined if I am to die one day, it would be from lung cancer. Unfortunately, death is a horizon we will never penetrate. This, of course, is what makes it a horizon. We move toward death but never reach it. That's the concept of the horizon. I'll elaborate on this general notion in a bit. I still write the date as 2014. & I have no explanation as to why I am writing, not typing. It's funny how i write most, when i let these incomprehensible feelings roam. & i'm only making myself feel again after someone told me to try anything to feel something other than nothing. These past few days, I have spent most of my hours trying to figure out a way to attend my own funeral. I am on the verge of giving up. No matter how hard I crack my brain, there's just no possible way. To something less disturbing now. I have a...