Wooo

This is happening at a worrying rate. The frequency of people asking me to quickly choose my career path. It's laughable. What, do they think it's a wife I'm looking for? It's not as easy, let me remind you. If it were like a marriage, I could simply solve any problems I face with a divorce. With careers, you can't just walk away like that. Perhaps I'm taking too much time in deciding what the heck I should do. But it's only because I do not know what I should do. I'm not too sure of my purpose in life to be honest. I'm still searching for the answer. Funny ain't it? You think you know but then life slaps you hard on the face with a hard dose of reality. I've never pictured myself working for a corporate company, doing office or clerical work. I'm not a white collar job kinda guy. It's too mundane. Surprisingly, to some, I've also never imagined myself working a blue collar job all my life. It is as bad or a good deal worse. I fee...

People ask if it worries me that I'm in such a state. Honestly, no. I've been in this rut before. The year was 20-oh-9. I had just graduated from ITE. I had reluctantly enrolled myself in a course I had no real interest in, Electronics Engineering, 2 years before that. I only did it because I didn't have anywhere to go or anything to do. & I did not want to serve the nation just yet. I was hoping to delay it till the end of the world which was supposedly in 2012. By now, you should already realize that I had given up on life by then. This period was unsurprisingly similar to that of 2009 & right now, just that it took me 2 months to decide on my next course of action. It took me slightly longer in 09. Right about 4 months. I left the school with a highly impressive GPA of 1.9. Believe me when I say 'highly impressive'. Because if I had attended school regularly & had the slightest bit of interest in engineering, I'd have left with a higher grade poin...

What if we all can't see? What if the sense of sight doesn't exist? Would there be any discriminations? Would ugly people still be treated as outcasts? Would everybody accept everyone for who they are? Would people marry for looks? I'm actually quite familiar with the social convention but I never could understand why social convention is how it is. I think it's stupid. The person who invented it was. I'm unsure whether or not he's still alive. To be honest, I'm not even sure if the inventor is a male. If I've learnt anything from it, it is that the rules distinctly seems as though it was thought up by a female. All articulative & fastidious. Yes, physical deficiency isn't exactly well received in today's society. Perhaps because when we were kids, we were not taught in school on how to accept people for who or what they are. I, for one, don't remember being taught such a thing. But it's not a problem for me. I don't have to be fe...

You can't define a person's self-worth by whether or not he's in a relationship or never been in one. Let's face it. I've never been in a relationship & I turn out fantastic. In no way am I a loser. In fact, I'm a winner. In so many more ways compared to someone who's been in a relationship. Even more when compared to those who've been in a relationship with more than one girl at once. But let me tell you something. Is that really an important part of our lives? Is having a girlfriend really a necessity? Think about it. Before you enter the puberty stage, have you ever thought about being with someone? That's a good 12 or 16years without that need, depending on the individual. I only felt attraction for the opposite sex after i turned 16. Some would argue that that's weird. If you could see me now, weird would be the last word to come into your mind. Be that as it may, I actually already had a full scale pubic region when I was 12. But I can...

I'm not best pleased with something that happened today. You should know by now that I'm a visionary. I have an unusual power of foresight. But again, it got the better of me. This dude was about to shoot. He did after taking forever & I thought I had it covered. The ball was swiveling towards me on the ground. Inside I knew if I just stop it with my foot, we'll be able to launch an attack as quickly as possible & catch the opponents off guard on the counter. In my mind, I've made the decision on who to pass the ball to to initiate that quick play. But before I knew it, the ball slipped through my foot & into goal. Suddenly, it was 2-2. Yes, you guessed it. We went on to lose that game 3-2. I then accidentally destroyed the ball maliciously. In case you're still lost & wondering, I was talking about soccer. Yeap, the beautiful game. I've said before & I will say it again. One day, my intelligence will be the death of me. Its baffling. & I...

Just 2 more weeks. My stint as a policeman will come to an end. That is as good an introduction as any. Yes. I never thought I'd make it this far. I certainly did not plan my life far ahead because the world was supposed to end last December. That was a mistake, I know. I should have come up with a plan in case it did not happen. But I never once thought it wouldn't. Now, I gotta do something about it. I gotta fix the cracks. I don't think I can live in singapore anymore. I don't wanna be like the others here who are slaves to money, just to buy buying condos & BMWs. & then there are some who want a whole lot of money in abundance just to attract women. The sad thing is, these guys are driven by women to gain these unnecessary goals. I can't accept that. Long were the times when woman are there to support men in what they believe in. As they say, behind every successful man is a woman. But that has been totally misinterpreted in the worst of ways. I don...

I feel I've been a disappointment in life. Well at least I haven't disappointed my parents. Yet. I think. Yes that is the only consolation I can come up with. Truth be told, I believe out of all my siblings, I've been what you would call a glimmering hope. I am an angel in the eyes of my old man now compared to my sisters. & I'm not even decent. Anyways, they're putting all the hopes left in them on me. That is quite a burden I have to carry. But that is expected. Being the only son. Which is why the people of older generations never liked having a daughter. Females are practically useless. Granted when you marry your daughter away, you get a dowry sum. I wouldn't say it's a measly amount but let's be honest. You raise your daughter for 18 years, she raises herself for at least 6 more & then she gets married. In that 18 years, the amount spent to bring her up is nuts compared to the dowry. You fork money out for her education, food, clothes, furn...

I was awaken this morning by a bird which was hanging about on the porch of my bedroom window. I'm not sure what it was doing there. But it was on the ledge, chirping happily away without any qualms regarding its high pitch chirping. Whether or not it would affect me or whether or not I have had enough sleep. I haven't. I slept at around 3 the previous night. I was tossing & turning for a few hours. There was so much in my mind. These last few weeks, I've been feeling fatigued. I believe going to the gym 5 days a week for the last 5 months has finally taken a toll on me. I am both mentally & physically drained as we speak. But yet, I'm still writing. I still go to the gym as scheduled & I still can't fall asleep at times. I've been pondering on what a colleague told me the other day. When I say the other day, it can mean any time from yesterday to 364 days ago. So yeah. But we spoke yesterday. His words were eye opening. They made me wonder. It's...

I didn't know how strong the psychological power of someone being able to change you until recently. I decided on experimenting on a psychological theory I stumbled upon a few years ago. I've never actually tried it because I don't usually need to do much to dislike someone. If I look at your face & decide in my mind that I don't like it, I'll just detest you. At least until you say something smart to me then, I'd reconsider. So with that, I went into full gear. I opened the fridge door & took out the remaining piece of soursop. It was the remaining piece from the previous night's gobble session. I started to eat then the half cut soursop, while looking at a picture of her. Sounds weird & creepy but that's the whole point of it. Just to inform you, I've extremely hated that damn fruit since young. Never liked it. The attempt was to savor something I dislike the most while having a mental picture of her in my mind. & to get her in my m...

Given the state of my life right now, can i really afford to be picky? I'm not sure. But I give credit where credit is due. & I admit, my buddy there has a point. He was able to spot this so called flaw of mine. He says I cannot recognize a real beauty if it struck me in the face. That is true. I'm what you would call blind. But he doesn't know the truth though. That I already have someone in my heart. No matter how gorgeous or beautiful any girl i encounter is, she will never be able to beat the very special one residing just behind my rib cage. So yes, I am quite biased in that sense. I am proud of myself. I actually did it. I've never passed my IPPT after my primary school days. So to manage this feat, & in a remarkably heart-stopping fashion, it only makes the achievement more monumental. But I must say, I wouldn't have been able to accomplish it if not for the motivation that I have. Suffice to say, I finished my 2.4km run thanks to her. Or the thought ...

Every boy wishes to one day, find the perfect girl. Eventually, they grow up knowing perfect girls only exist in fairy tales. & in this generation, there's nothing more disappointing than seeing so many girls throwing themselves at guys damn easily. But since its becoming more of a common sight, we are able to oversee such stupidity & live with it. Most of us become oblivious to our surrounding as a result. There was a point of time in this life whereby I'd wear long sleeve shirts wherever I go. Either that or I would wear a sweater or a jacket. I think most males go through that phase. Now, I don't do that anymore. So where am I going with this? I'm unsure to be honest. I'm not quite right. I wish I wasn't as good at looking without looking like I'm looking. Perhaps then she'd have caught me looking at her once & then remember my face. But that's the price I must pay for being so stealthy. I'm almost as astonishing as a ninja, ...

People can't see that I'm trying to get back on track in life. I'm doing my level best to redevelop the trait of giving a damn. Even though I don't give a damn over some things since birth, I'm actually giving it my all to pretend. Its the next best thing. I mean people like being lavished with praises & showered with heart warming gestures. They don't care if it's insincere. It's either they're being oblivious to that fact or they're just too intellectually deficient to realize it. I'm thinking its the latter. Those who enjoy these sort of things are usually the stupid ones. That about explains it. Well, so far, everything's been running smoothly. Nowadays, I try to get involved in others conversations even though I have no interest in the topic. I also try to laugh at people's jokes even though they are lame. At least once a day I ask how they are, even though I simply don’t care. I lend them a listening ear when they need someo...

People mock me for having something of a scheduled life. I'm content with a routined life. Monday will always be Monday. Food is always gonna be something that fills up the stomach. There's nothing wrong with having the same meal every breakfast right? Change is never fine. They say it is, but it’s not. Even though that, I still say that I have a high adaptability rate. I get used to change after a while. At least faster than your typical average human being. It's unfavorable but some changes are inevitable. I'd rather not have to go through change given a choice. When choice less, I'd accept it with a heavy heart. I'm optimistic though. Because sooner or later, everything will fall into place again. The change would become part of the routine then. But why tamper with perfection? I know nothing's perfect but if its close to perfect, preserve it. Why disrupt the ebb & flow of something next to perfect? Having said all that, I'd prefer if we have 30 d...

I don't get all these political issues at work. I can't deny, it makes life more interesting. But come on, we're all humans. Nobody's perfect. We all have flaws. As long as your flaws don't affect me in any way, I can live with it. Even at times, when someone's flaws make my life difficult, I'd just move on from there & look towards a brighter future. I know, I'm more optimistic these days. Must be the new year. It affects me in strange ways. I've come to a point whereby I overlook people's flaws & accept them for who they are. I don't mean to make myself sound so great but yea, not many can boast of such an attribute. Of course, I'm not the only one who has that. But it's something only a handful could develop. No one is born with it. It's only with the right kind of nurturing that you will get it at some point in life. It's something like compassion. You don't get that trait automatically after coming out of your...

No doubt about it. It's time again for the 'conclusion to last year' column. 2012 was a wretched year for me. To sum it up in one word, it simply 'sucked'. There were more things that went against me than in my favor. Here are a few. I got charged for threatening & impersonation, my heart operation was a failure, i was banned from carrying firearm, I was made to pay singtel $1971, i was fined 100 dollars & the one I was looking for decided to ignore me, all in the space of 365 days. & to top it off, the world did not end as planned. There were good things of course but I can count them with one hand. I got to see, talk & take a picture with Julie tan. That's three & yea, pretty much it. Now, the highlight to it was, I managed to find out this person's(the same one who turned out to be just another to blacklist me) name & discovered her on facebook. What made her ignore me is still a mystery to me. Whatever it is, it involves a pa...