Wooo

The malay people of our generation. Or my generation. They don't make constructive criticism. They poke at people for their own joy. When others get back at them for their mistakes, they get exasperated. They can't accept it even when they're at wrong. It's like everything they do is right & everyone else's actions are wrong. That is why our race will never progress. & they don't practice what they preach too which is pathetic. We will always be left behind the shadow of the other races. To think they think the malays are superior in every way. We will always be the toilet cleaners, the coolies, the blue collar workers, the side road sweepers & the dish washers. I had to write this. Because if it comes from another race, a racial war will begin. But i'm writing this with remorse & sadness because this is all the truth. My face will be reserved for spots to lay a punch but its fine. Cuz i've let out what i think everyone feels. I feel it t...

As you're reading, i am happy to tell you that i'll be getting out of this damn place in 5 weeks. Yay. No really, i'm jubilated. It's just that there are 5 more weeks therefore, i'm keeping it down a little. So the news i heard is that i'll be performing on graduation night. That is great. On MC for one day & all sorts of calamity fall on me. The promise was that i'll write a song. But i remember distinctly saying i won't perform. My course manager agreed to those terms. Now, he's going against his words. It's not that i don't wanna perform. It's just that i suck on stage. I can't face a crowd of thousands & sing like nothings going on. I'm a great pretender & an actor but that is too much. I do remember words from great artists that it's easier to sing to a huge crowd than an audience of 3 or 4. Cos you can feel the aura of pressure emitting from them more specifically. In front of a massive crowd, you don't r...

October seems to be a good month to write & write. Because as i write & post, it's another day gone. I usually write at night when i'm in camp. I don't really write when i'm at home as i actually have stuff to do. That explains alot doesn't it about camps? Anyways, i'm about three weeks away from the end of BPT phase. Basic police training that is. How the hell i survived 4 months here so far, i don't know. It's unexplainable. But who says i'm not happy with that. I'm esctatic. Come december 8, i will tell the folks around how that is the happiest day of my life. So far. I think the happiest day is yet to come. It will arrive soon i hope. That would be the day when i have found her & she agreed to marry me. After a day. Who am i kidding? These days, the divorce rate is as high as the confidence of an overconfident jackass. It's mostly the malays though that marries & then divorce almost instantaneously. They never think things...

Hey hey, we're back. Now where were we? Oh yes. I was gonna tell you that the decision i made was the worst decision ever. Okay. So i pretended to not see her & walked past her. She was still a few feet away from me as i was walking on the opposite pavement. But i felt like she walked right through me. My soul was like taken away after that. I could not believe what i had done. I treated her like she was invisible. Piece of shit man. I was distraught though. My friend told me her face changed. I didn't manage to catch a glimpse of her cute face as i was too busy ignoring & pretending. But I did saw how cheerful she was when she first knew i was walking towards her. That is why i said she actually knew of me being there. Since that fateful day, she never spoke to me. Except for one time when she couldn't take the msn disturbing anymore whereby my friend would add me into a conversation with her & talk shit. I usually would try to be the hero & screw him up fo...

I still remember the feeling when she waved at me from the third storey. It was indescribable. The feeling was unlike any other. You won't get that same satisfaction from anything else. It is so different from getting a wave from a guy or a friend. That really meant alot to me. How i miss it. I missed that chance. When she merrily threw that wave at my direction from 50 metres in width & height away, i thought it was for someone else. My friends were calling my name as that happened. I wasn't aware she was up there. When i did caught a glance, in my heart, that's never gonna be for me. So i turned back. There wasn't anybody. I thought be damned with the consequences & threw a high five back at her. She smiled. She reciprocated with a smile. & then used up a few more ounces of her energy to flatten her right hand & made an up & down motion. I was jubilated. First time ever a female, that isn't related to me by blood ties, waved at me. I was so hap...

I think I've written this many times. But I'll write it again. I miss the carefree days. The days of the past when we could walk aimlessly forever to nowhere. It didn't matter where we were gonna end up because nowhere is our destination. & we usually would walk there slowly. That certainly gives you a whole accurate meaning to 'going nowhere fast'. Back then, my buddies & could hang like forever. Time was never an issue unlike now. These days, I only have 40 odd hours to hang out so I don't anymore. Who's got the time? It's not as though I don't have anything to do. I've been kept busy for these past few months that I don't even meet my friends anymore on weekends. Friday night is my bro-ing out day ever since I got enlisted. So for the next 8 weeks or so, my friends will have to be patient & wait till POP before I can go on a weekend outing with them. How do those people do it, juggling a girlfriend with NS & personal time? ...

I'm the guy that girls don't go after. I'm also the guy girls don't see. Because I wear a magical invisible cloak. A theoretical one. But it's not as though it matters or anything. All my life, I've been living a live of solitude. & I love it. Still am, still loving it. I wouldn't ever wanna change it. So if you think one person can significantly alter my whole life, then you are wrong. Yea I'm a wreck. But I've been a wreck ever since whenever. She contributed just a little more to the sadness but the significance was like 0.000371. In bank interest terms, that doesn't mean a thing. Because they're rich. They have money in abundance. It's the same principle with me. Except that what I have that's uncountable is negative emotional vibe. Yeah they vibrate all right. In a frequency so low, only the chosen ones can hear. I was using the term 'ones' loosely. There's only one chosen one & she is my other half. She is th...