Wooo

As i craft this entry, 10,000 miles away from home, i realize how much i miss my loved ones. Its been officially 9 days now. I havent been away from home for this long since my last overseas trip to Langkawi. Even then, it was only 5 days. & it was with my family too. I have 1 more to go before i get to whiff the tiles of my house floor again. I dont have a bed. I know its like better being in this barrack because theres a bed here but thats the only noteworthy thing in this place. The last sentence pretty much explains itself doesnt it? By the way, i dont see johor as an overseas place. Because, its so near. Its of a walkable distance. But then again, Langkawi is part of malaysia. So my longest overseas trip away from home may not be overseas at all. At least to me. Considering all my life, my home is my home. My second home varies all the time. Could be my school, the LAN shop or even my girlfriends home. But i dont have a school nor a girlfriend now & i havent visited a LAN ...

I haven't got the time to write these last few days. & there's only 20 odd hours left before I become a national slave. It's fine. I've been a servant all my life anyways waiting on people & working for them. The only difference in serving the nation is the extremely low pay. Which can be foreseen since I'm gonna be playing with guns. That's fun. Well, the reason I haven't been writing these past few days is because I've been busy. Doing a bunch of stuff. I don't know why. I've been living as though I'm dying on Tuesday, doing everything I haven't done. & there are still more. The main things I haven't done; I have yet to killed someone, I have not kissed a girl, I haven't left a legacy & I still haven't manage to record an album. & yes, these are just the things on the top of my list. The priorities haven't even been mentioned yet. They may sound as improbable as the main shits but I don't care. I ...

Wow. Time sure flies when you're drowned in sadness. I wonder how it would be when you actually have fun. Time must go at light speed. It's not as if I don't know. Everytime I'm on my xbox, an hour feels like 5 minutes. The only thing is, nothing else feels that way. Maybe I need more fun material in my life. I read that when you're with the girl you love, time will pass as fast as a shoplifter making a dash for it when spotted for his shoplifting act. Because apparently, like video games, love has the same effect on us as fantastic graphics & gameplay. Sensational stuff! I always read about romance stuff don't I? Yeah. It's been proven. That human beings tend to read stuffs that are mostly not in their lives. It's clear romance is missing in mine. That is why I can only enjoy it through reading. That's the only way I can feel it. & then there are those without money. You'll either see them reading the classifieds section or the horse rac...

Now that I've retired, I have time to write, write & write. & I love it. It does explain the consecutive days of entry doesn't it? There's no such thing as writing to reach you. If there is, I would have gotten to her. Right at her footstep. Maybe even at her door step. But as the universe wants it, I am right now in front of my computer desk crafting this very post. & did I mentioned, how much I'm enjoying this? I love it. Okay second time? Nobody cares. I will say it as many times as I damn well please. Well, that's possibly the only thing going for me. & I probably shouldn't be dwelling on failures. Little ones. Not being cocky but I've come this far. 22 years worth of experience & hardship. Sweat, tears & blood. There's nothing i can't handle. & we're talking about a little minor setback. It's shmuck. I will love again. I will find the girl worth writing 20 songs about. She'll be so worth it, I'll even ...

No wonder for the life of me, I could not figure out why I never once saw her during my two months stint there at the attraction that shares the same breakroom as hers. She was still at her old place! I just found that out from the information I gathered from reliable resources. She transferred after I left. & she just did it again. But that's history now. I'm focused on the future. Or at least the present. Pretentiously wrong. I lost when I thought I succeeded. I overcame the fear & texted her. I thought I've won the battle. Because she replied. But I was too quick judge. So, it was 1-0. To her favor. I found a place to hold. But it's so cold I can barely feel it. & yes. Turned out to be a false alarm. It wasn't a place to hold afterall. 2-0. If we were playing soccer, I would have equalized before the end. 2-2. & I do mean on the xbox. No wait. I believe I would have turned it around by the end. 3-2 to me. She would have been mine. But I don't ...

I'm thinking about going to the casino & release it all. I know it sounds dumb but I've already taken out most of what's in my bank. I'm still waiting for my games & DVDs which I ordered online. I sure hope it comes soon. At least before I get enlisted. Actually, I prefer for it to come by this week as I have nothing to do anymore. I am free from work & the only thing for me to do now is clear my mind off her before I go in. I wouldn't wanna be the first to go to the police academy & shoot myself in the head. Just because my mind is not stable. Its full of thoughts of her. I might be going crazy actually. I don't know. But what I do know & going to is pulau ubin. We've been planning to go there for a while but nothing materialize. This will be like a farewell for us who are going in in 2 weeks time. I'm actually feeling relieved at the thought of going in. There are fears but they are minor. I think my mind will feel liberated from th...