Wooo

So, I'm gonna be starting my white collar job next week. I know. How ridiculous is that? An NS man doing office work. What the hell did I train for the past 6 months for? I'll tell you what it is for. Nothing. Obviously.  As exasperated as I was, when I first learned about my posting, I was actually relieved I did not strike this one stupid vocation. The police coast guard that is. I know we need security for our coastlines but face it, being an officer that polices that waters is dumb. Add that to the fact that I get sea sick on boats and I have quite a reason to cross that job off my career list. Hey dude. It's not as though I want be sick being floated on something on the water. I was born this way. Moving waters make me sick. Stagnant water is even worse. You guys should try that stupid Madagascar crate adventure ride. It's so dreadful, you'd never wanna have anything to do with Madagascar anymore. & woah, It feels good to criticize that damn ride. For almos...

The alarming rate time is passing. It seemed like last week that I wrote my closing post for last year. Wow. I wanted the six months to pass fast to get out of camp but really, it ain't worth it. Now, there's only like a year & a few days before the end of time. NS seriously sucks. Well I'm supposed to be going for a minor operation for my heart this week. But it's rescheduled thanks to this stupid course I am attending. Apparently, there's going to be little test on Friday. I was seriously stumped. It's an office job! What kind of etiquettes can we possibly learn? They say we have to do some bootlicking with the high ranking officers at our divisions. I was simply stunned. It's ludicrous. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not that kinda person. & I'm so indirect, I give oblique answers to direct questions. What the hell right? So this little procedure is supposedly ending only part of my fragile heart's problems. Yeah. I've got that man...

I've been browsing peoples blogs randomly & got quite a surprise. Shockingly, a typical person's post does not exceed 200 words. Well at least most of them. I switched windows & looked at mine. The amount of words in one of my posts can pretty much fill up a years worth of posts for your average normal being. Am I abnormal then? No. & here's why.  If I was abnormal, I wouldn't have a blog page. As simple as that. Which psychopath would open up a blog account & write about their daily kills? Now that is an abnormal bitch. Which is why we don't see this thing happening. I admit I'm a little weirder compared to others but I'll never be in the same group as them weirdos. They're simply too unique. You can't be them even if you tried. & why are you trying? Just because I made them sound cool, you wanna give it a go? You're so them. The one dimensional bunch. Following the flow blindly, taking the steps without even knowing if you...

One more week! Or seven more days. Or 168 more hours! Orrrrr, 10080 minutes. Can be 604800 seconds, i don't care. Yes you can countdown in whatever way you deem wish. The point won't change. & the point is, POP! What does it mean to you? Popcorn? I humbly admit, i had no idea what that means before i was enlisted. I still have no idea what it stands for actually. But all that does not matter. They can call it anything they want as long as i get out of here. I'm suprise that i survived all these months. Come to think of it, time has actually moved quite fast. Was it 6 months ago that i first came here? Yes of course fag. Although time seems to move slower when we're in here, the rate that time passes generally frightens me. It's just 13 more months to the apocalypse. & i still haven't done anything to repent. I have yet to even start. Ahhh. What's the point? I'll probably be misunderstood anyways. Might as well just not do anything. Maybe, in thes...

Tonight, i just feel like writing pointless stuff. I'm tired of all the serious stuff of these recent weeks. I'm can't do it. It's not my nature. Seriousness is just something that will happen once in a blue moon. That is if blue moons actually exist. I think they are just myths. Like my existence. You can ask my old friends or schoolmates. Ask about me & they will go like, "who?" or, "oh you mean that guy? I thought he died halfway through the term." Yeas. It's one disappoinment after the other. Just when you thought she would be the shining light, i was shone the battery. It was a form of evidence that showed it was fake. She, theoritically, was just a torch light. She beams but only to a certain extend. Unlike shining lights, torch lights die out. Now, she has. Another false hope. Pathetic shit i am. How many girls do you wanna like Wan? How long till you realize that nothing would go your way you foolish bastard? Okay. It doesn't matt...

A friend of mine knocked some real senses into me recently. It made so much sense, you can't bet your bottom dollar on it because you are gurantee to lose it. Yeap. So, it started off with this issue we had about the girls of today. We both agreed & came to the conclusion that the girls of our generation are pretty messed up. Almost as messed up as how that thing on my head which is, incidentally, called hair i think, used to be. My other buddy, also some sort of a sadist, agreed. We then suddenly came to this topic about why i've never had any girlfriends & how that is possible. I just told them that nothing is impossible. That's motivational isn't it? In a way. Depends on how you look at it really. Anyways, he said some awesome things, which i have totally forgotten, about girls & how they shouldn't be the reason for a wrecked life. I guess those things weren't so important afterall because if they were, i would have remembered it just as i did wit...

FIs are pussies. They really are. They love calling trainees pussies. But they have no idea who the real pussies are. Them. Basically, they are self-centered, arrogant, judgmental, egoistic & etc. Etc is a clever word to use when you run out of comparison subjects but still ain't really happy with what you have already mentioned. Yeap. Why am i saying all these? Here's why. These beasts we call FIs, the abbreviation of Field Instructors, are nsmen too. But yes, they are given the license to put us down. It's not hard to put people down. Everybody knows that. But the way they do it, they can only be described as animals. They have no feelings. They're like those terminator machines designed & programmed to torture us. That's all they know. It doesn't matter how, they just simply have to do it. & they have ways. They have a whole lot of ways. I don't wanna reveal too much so yea. That's as far as I can criticize these bitches. Those lowlife, sc...

Sometimes i wonder what kind of a guy am I. I hate clubbing, I don't drink & I don't screw young girls. The only clubs I know are football clubs. I do know a little about golf clubs and club cars actually. But does it even matter? The only drinks I drink are malts. I can't even have caffeine & carbon in my body. What a pathetic bitch. Don't even get me started on girls. The number of girls I know can't even compare to the number of Xbox games I have. What does that tell you? Yeah I'm a cool guy. Like the chilling type. But really, I hate it when someone asks me to chill. If I wanted to chill, I'd be in the fridge by now. Use some better words please. It sounds so barbaric & futuristic, at the same time, that it's stupid. I wonder who came up with that term. Must be a typical human being. Pfftt-uh! Normal guys would have hobbies like fighting or soccer or girls and sex. But me, I have interests like writing and video gaming. So I am categorize...

The malay people of our generation. Or my generation. They don't make constructive criticism. They poke at people for their own joy. When others get back at them for their mistakes, they get exasperated. They can't accept it even when they're at wrong. It's like everything they do is right & everyone else's actions are wrong. That is why our race will never progress. & they don't practice what they preach too which is pathetic. We will always be left behind the shadow of the other races. To think they think the malays are superior in every way. We will always be the toilet cleaners, the coolies, the blue collar workers, the side road sweepers & the dish washers. I had to write this. Because if it comes from another race, a racial war will begin. But i'm writing this with remorse & sadness because this is all the truth. My face will be reserved for spots to lay a punch but its fine. Cuz i've let out what i think everyone feels. I feel it t...

As you're reading, i am happy to tell you that i'll be getting out of this damn place in 5 weeks. Yay. No really, i'm jubilated. It's just that there are 5 more weeks therefore, i'm keeping it down a little. So the news i heard is that i'll be performing on graduation night. That is great. On MC for one day & all sorts of calamity fall on me. The promise was that i'll write a song. But i remember distinctly saying i won't perform. My course manager agreed to those terms. Now, he's going against his words. It's not that i don't wanna perform. It's just that i suck on stage. I can't face a crowd of thousands & sing like nothings going on. I'm a great pretender & an actor but that is too much. I do remember words from great artists that it's easier to sing to a huge crowd than an audience of 3 or 4. Cos you can feel the aura of pressure emitting from them more specifically. In front of a massive crowd, you don't r...

October seems to be a good month to write & write. Because as i write & post, it's another day gone. I usually write at night when i'm in camp. I don't really write when i'm at home as i actually have stuff to do. That explains alot doesn't it about camps? Anyways, i'm about three weeks away from the end of BPT phase. Basic police training that is. How the hell i survived 4 months here so far, i don't know. It's unexplainable. But who says i'm not happy with that. I'm esctatic. Come december 8, i will tell the folks around how that is the happiest day of my life. So far. I think the happiest day is yet to come. It will arrive soon i hope. That would be the day when i have found her & she agreed to marry me. After a day. Who am i kidding? These days, the divorce rate is as high as the confidence of an overconfident jackass. It's mostly the malays though that marries & then divorce almost instantaneously. They never think things...

Hey hey, we're back. Now where were we? Oh yes. I was gonna tell you that the decision i made was the worst decision ever. Okay. So i pretended to not see her & walked past her. She was still a few feet away from me as i was walking on the opposite pavement. But i felt like she walked right through me. My soul was like taken away after that. I could not believe what i had done. I treated her like she was invisible. Piece of shit man. I was distraught though. My friend told me her face changed. I didn't manage to catch a glimpse of her cute face as i was too busy ignoring & pretending. But I did saw how cheerful she was when she first knew i was walking towards her. That is why i said she actually knew of me being there. Since that fateful day, she never spoke to me. Except for one time when she couldn't take the msn disturbing anymore whereby my friend would add me into a conversation with her & talk shit. I usually would try to be the hero & screw him up fo...

I still remember the feeling when she waved at me from the third storey. It was indescribable. The feeling was unlike any other. You won't get that same satisfaction from anything else. It is so different from getting a wave from a guy or a friend. That really meant alot to me. How i miss it. I missed that chance. When she merrily threw that wave at my direction from 50 metres in width & height away, i thought it was for someone else. My friends were calling my name as that happened. I wasn't aware she was up there. When i did caught a glance, in my heart, that's never gonna be for me. So i turned back. There wasn't anybody. I thought be damned with the consequences & threw a high five back at her. She smiled. She reciprocated with a smile. & then used up a few more ounces of her energy to flatten her right hand & made an up & down motion. I was jubilated. First time ever a female, that isn't related to me by blood ties, waved at me. I was so hap...

I think I've written this many times. But I'll write it again. I miss the carefree days. The days of the past when we could walk aimlessly forever to nowhere. It didn't matter where we were gonna end up because nowhere is our destination. & we usually would walk there slowly. That certainly gives you a whole accurate meaning to 'going nowhere fast'. Back then, my buddies & could hang like forever. Time was never an issue unlike now. These days, I only have 40 odd hours to hang out so I don't anymore. Who's got the time? It's not as though I don't have anything to do. I've been kept busy for these past few months that I don't even meet my friends anymore on weekends. Friday night is my bro-ing out day ever since I got enlisted. So for the next 8 weeks or so, my friends will have to be patient & wait till POP before I can go on a weekend outing with them. How do those people do it, juggling a girlfriend with NS & personal time? ...

I'm the guy that girls don't go after. I'm also the guy girls don't see. Because I wear a magical invisible cloak. A theoretical one. But it's not as though it matters or anything. All my life, I've been living a live of solitude. & I love it. Still am, still loving it. I wouldn't ever wanna change it. So if you think one person can significantly alter my whole life, then you are wrong. Yea I'm a wreck. But I've been a wreck ever since whenever. She contributed just a little more to the sadness but the significance was like 0.000371. In bank interest terms, that doesn't mean a thing. Because they're rich. They have money in abundance. It's the same principle with me. Except that what I have that's uncountable is negative emotional vibe. Yeah they vibrate all right. In a frequency so low, only the chosen ones can hear. I was using the term 'ones' loosely. There's only one chosen one & she is my other half. She is th...

It's admirable really. If you look at girls these days, they usually find the easiest way to earn money. So the jobs they try to get are usually crap ones. It's getting to be quite a trend nowadays. Now, what's making me so impressed then? This women i know. Well i sorta know her but we only ever had a conversation once because of my untactfulness & my inability to speak to cool girls. She's a policewoman. How much cooler can it get? Yes. It's not easy to commit yourself to a career, much less as a police officer for women. In my opinion, those women who join the police force deserve a pat on the back. It's really impressive. I read her article for the trainee's magazine. From her words, i know she has a well rounded personality. Who says women police officers are one dimentional? Okay i did. But wrong was i. & Yoda-like are my words. Yeap. I admit to my mistake. But that is only my perception of her actually. Yea it doesn't mean that all the gir...

I don't wanna be like the typical old people of singapore. The kind of 'apeks' you see sitting at the coffeeshops reading newspapers. They don't exactly read them you know. They ogle at the pictures of young women in them. Somebody should teach them to use computers. It's so much easier & more convenient. For their viewing pleasure. I mean how fun is looking at the girls on the papers? The most you can see are bikini bods which to me is pedestrian. But i gotta say, if i grow to become one of them, it'd be with utmost regret. It's an utter failure. Yeah. It means i failed in life. I didn't manage to snag a lady for myself to ogle at everyday. It sounds lame doesn't it? Well once you have a wife, you don't just ogle do you? Even if you do, then it's ogling at a naked body right? I wouldn't know. I think i'll never know. At this rate, if a girl were to offer herself to me, it'd be considered a good day. You don't get many goo...

When my oc squad told me to get a girlfriend, it was way too surreal. I mean no one has come to my house before & said that. Why in the world did he come to my place in the first place? Well he wasn't alone. He came with 4 of my squad mates. I knew my squad would be looking forward to feasting on something edible having been eating plastic in the form of food. They're like mock food. Except that it's plastic in reality made to look like food & isn't exactly food. My mother was kind enough to understand our food predicament & whipped up a good meal for my station inspector & the boys. It was after their stomachs were full that he started having words with me. It wasn't an experience to remember to tell the truth. I was admitted to NUH yesterday evening in my full police uniform. Yeah I shouldn't even be home right now. But here I am on my couch crafting this entry like a free soul. Free soul for at least 3 days. I have to report back to camp on Su...

You must be wondering why my last post was written in such a way that you would probably label it weird. Maybe you aren't wondering. Neither may you be labeling it weird. But I'll tell you anyways. It was all on purpose. I was proving a point. I'm not making up excuses. If it was some sort of mistake that I made, I would have admitted to it. Or maybe put the blame on someone. Figure out what the whole point is & I'll give you a gift. That last sentence sounds cute right? Speaking of gifts, it's that time of the year again. The 09/09. Doesn't mean a thing. The day don't matter. I was born only once which is on 1989. That's my only birthday. That doesn't have to repeat. I'm not even sure why we celebrate it every year. I don't wanna sound like a broken record though. I whine about this every year. Still, I gotta thank those who wished me. Wishes are okay. It's underrated. Presents are the opposite. & although most of the wishes I re...

A couple of weeks ago, i wrote about hilary duff & how pivotal she was in my teenage phase. I have no idea why i suddenly had the urge to craft an entry about her. There was just this strange feeling that convinced me to do so. It's the sort that makes me feel so good when i heed it. It better than sex, believe me. Not that i know how good sex feels. It's just words from others. It's only through my imagination that i feel it. It sounds wrong but visualisation is the key. It has always been. People these days like to brag. I don't mind them telling me their experiences. But sometimes, they just go to far. I really do not need people telling me how bitchy their girlfriends are. I also don't really need to know how your girlfriend is like one of those prostitutes plucked out from the streets of geylang when it comes to sex. Freaking horny. Anyways, enough of that. A few days after writing that little post, i came to find out through the tabloids that Hil was ...

My obsession with Hilary Duff was unlike any other. Well it was an obsession like any other obsessions. It's just that it was unlike other peoples obession. Make sense right? Say no & see what happens to you later. It was a 4 year affair. Started out of nothing. I saw a cd one fine day with a pretty lady's face on it. I didn't hesitate to buy it straight away. I remember how the cashier looked at me. Kinda silly. But i didn't give a damn. I was still a kid. You know how kids are. Stupid as shit. Nonetheless, i still enjoyed the hit song 'so yesterday'. The lyrics doesn't make sense but it didn't matter. Her cutesy voice more than made up for it. Stupidity strikes again for the juvenile wonder. I found out that she was actually on a show called 'lizzie mcguire'. It's sick man. Till now, i'm not sure what the show is about. Back then, for the thousandth time, it didn't matter. As long as i see her face, what ever she did mattered as...

Even though i hate having a bald head, i gotta admit, it's quite comfortable being hairless. Well i'm not exactly a skinhead you know. I do have hair as short as they are. Even if it's just an inch or two, it's still hair. & when you have hair as short as that, there are two things you don't have to do. Drying & combing. To be honest, i don't do those things even when i have a head full of hair. But i'm just saying it's so much more convenient waking up in the morning without hair getting into your eyes or getting out of the shower & have the task of styling it. These days, i go out carefreely. As you all know, i have curly hair that spirals & twirls. It's unsightly when it's long. Even though i know it's hideous, i have the habit to grow it out as long as possible before heading for the barber & shave it all off. I'm not sure why but there's just this feeling of satisfaction when i go into the barber & do what...

As you read these words, we are now on our first day of Ramadhan. I know what you're thinking. Hari Raya! That's wrong dudes & dudettes. We should be thinking of fasting. You guys are hopeless. As i'm crafting this entry, my stomach is growling. It's only been three hours since i had my supporting meal. It's suppose to carry me through the day. Yeah. I'm practically finished. 12 more hours to go! Time goes by slow here so it'll be like 24 hours. I'm not kidding. It sometimes feel like time is thrice slower. That's camp for you. No that's NS. You have fun in camp. Hell is what you get in NS. This is my first day fasting in camp. I'm not sure if i'll last through till dusk. I'll let you know later. Maybe i'll be dead already by then. So if you never hear from me after this, then yea i'm gone. I think this will be my toughest fasting stint yet. They have all been tough but i reckon fasting while doing ns is tougher. It will b...

Now how do you feel about 10 men sleeping in the same room together? Not together on the same bed of course. That would be very disturbing. But yeah, even if that isn't the case, it still sounds awkwardly weird right, 10 grown men in one room? Unless you're a bitch. Bitches love that. They wouldn't find it weird at all. In fact, they would find it exceptionally fantastic. It's like an all you can eat buffet for them. Skanks. For me, it's fun. Not in that sense. I know what you're thinking. I'm sure most of you weren't hoping for that. An eligible bachelor, enjoying the company of 9 other men. It's not like we have a choice. Anyways, i'm gay. Gay as in happy, twerps. I'm still straight. Not a homo. Yet. I haven't lost faith in the fairer sex so i believe one day, she will walk into my life. Maybe, almost unknowingly. Perhaps, she may have already be in it just that i don't know. How in the hell do you determine if that person is your ...

I feel that i write better than i speak. Not saying i'm good at writing. It's just that i'm not as bad at writing as i am in spoken words. It's no doubt a stupid thing to say to someone. Especially a girl. But i learnt that girls like guys who can make them laugh. Yeah. Even if i make myself sound stupid intentionally. It's all part of the plan. But that is sometimes. Most of the time, i sound stupid without trying. So, you don't have to mention girls, even transexuals will look at me stupid. I don't think i can ever change the way i am. I guess for some reason, i am happy with the person i am. There's no one who can come into my life & change me. Neither can they come up to me & tell me to change. Everyone is unique the way they are. Even if they are retards. Speaking for myself you know. & a few more asses like myself. This may come as a surprise to you although not to me but i haven't been sleeping that much at night. I lie in bed all ...